Oceans

But I have trusted in Your steadfast love;

my heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.

Psalm 13:5

I haven't blogged for quite a while.  To be honest, it's because I was just hanging on.

I took a short term leave from work. I'm so thankful for the support of my employer, my principal, and my colleagues. And the young woman who covered for me did a splendid job; I couldn't have asked for more. The strain of what we had been through was starting to show and I needed to ensure that, when we got through this (and we would), my marriage was intact and healthy. We have had some wonderful help from a counsellor, who has walked us through a few things and assisted us in sorting healthy thoughts from unhealthy ones. And we needed time together, just my wife and I, just to be, to rest, to talk and to process all that we have experienced. We're not done yet but I am confident that, in time, we will be whole and strong once again. I am so grateful for her, my best friend and the love of my life.  Proverbs 18:22 says, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and receives favour from the Lord." I have found so much more than I could have ever imagined in my wife, and I have indeed received favour!

We've spent quite a bit of time at the trailer, and the last week of Family Camp ended today. I found myself challenged this past week by the lyrics of the song "Oceans", that some of you will be familiar with. To be honest, I had a hard time singing it without tears; in fact, I was completely unsuccessful. Here are the words:

You call me out upon the waters

The great unknown where feet may fail

This was exactly what God did to us; like Peter in the boat in the middle of the storm, He called us out into our storm, where the possibility of sinking and drowning was real.

And there I find You in the mystery

In oceans deep my faith will stand.

And once again, as before, we found God to be faithful in the midst of our storm. When Peter found himself sinking in the midst of wild waves and angry gales, and cried out for help, Jesus took hold of him; firm, strong, calm, untouched by all that was raging about them. Just like Peter, I found that MY resources were pitiful in the face of such a storm. But God was there with me; He provided what I needed. And with Him beside me, even a storm such as we had endured paled in comparison to His awesome and yet gentle strength.

Your grace abounds in deepest waters

Your sovereign hand will be my guide

Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me

You've never failed, and You won't start now.

I don't have any answers as to why we had to go through what we did. Losing a child has been the hardest thing I've ever had to face. Maybe you're reading this while facing a loss, a tragedy of your own. Maybe you're seeking some answers, some rationale for why you're going through this. I'm afraid I can't help you with that.

But I can tell you that tragedies and losses of this magnitude tend to make us do one of two things; we either lean away from God, or we lean in to God. If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, lean in to Him! This is no time to turn from Him because then you have absolutely nothing but your despair! Your feelings and your angry thoughts may drive you to think that He is cruel, or that His love is fickle at best. These are lies, and they come from the enemy who seeks to destroy you. Remember, Peter said that the enemy is like a lion, seeking whom he may devour. He looks to weaken you by drawing you away from the protection that comes from staying close to God and His people; that's what lions do. Ask Him your angry questions; He can handle it! But stay close; you'll find that He will comfort and protect you and provide for you as you do. This has been my experience.

So I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours, and You are mine.

Notice how the lyrics indicate that this is a very intentional decision. Decide to trust Him in the really difficult things, especially when you can't see the reasons behind what's happening. That's really ultimately what faith is. Why would you only trust Him when things are good? Do you really think you're the only one who has suffered what you're suffering? Believers and unbelievers enjoy many of the same benefits from a gracious God, and they also suffer many of the same hurts; the difference is that unbelievers go through it alone!

And if that's you, if you are not a follower of Jesus Christ, let me tell you that He is longing to be there with you, to comfort you in your pain, to provide strength for you, to "give you beauty for ashes" as it says in Isaiah. Call on Him! Do it now! You will find in Him such a faithful friend, one who will never let you go, a "friend who sticks closer than a brother." And please let me know if you've done that. It would be my great joy.

You can contact the author at mikeysingsbass@gmail.com.