Of Grinders and Gratefulness

In everything give thanks ...

I Thessalonians 5:18

I love my coffee.

I frequently tell my students "Coffee keeps me interesting ...". We travelled to the States this summer and, while shopping in a little store, I saw this sign:

I should have bought it!

When I turned 50, a couple who are good friends bought me a nice grinder so that I could grind my own coffee beans (bought at Costco) and use the ground coffee in my Keurig (which actually means "lovely" in Dutch!). Life is good. (... insert contented sigh here ...)

I'm sure you're wondering why I'm waxing eloquent over my caffeine addiction; the reason is this: When we lost our David and our whole world felt like it had been turned upside-down, those same friends were there immediately when we called. I will never forget the simple comfort I received when Chris walked in the door, hugged me with tears in his eyes and a catch in his throat and told me how sorry he was. And Beth was there for my hurting wife.  Then, as we traversed that long and weary week of preparation, and later the visitation and funeral, both they and their children stood by us, day by day, rarely knowing what to say but being there for whatever we needed. Often it was a text, or a call, to remind us they were praying for us. During the three and a half hours of the visitation, they stood by us for the entire night. As I greeted those that came to pass on their condolences, suddenly Beth would be at my elbow with a glass of cold water. We discovered they had been instrumental in coordinating the meals that were delivered to our house. Rarely in the limelight but always there just when we needed them.

Friends like that are rare. People that are so selfless, looking simply to meet the needs. We are extremely blessed to have them in our lives, and I never want to take them for granted.

And so I have taken a very mundane, run-of-the-mill task and turned it into an opportunity to be grateful. About every two weeks, I have to grind more beans to fill my little coffee can. And every time I pull that little grinder out of the cupboard and grind the coffee beans, I take time to thank God for our friends, who were God's hands and feet to bring His love to us when we were so very weak and weary.

I'd like to say the idea was mine; to attach a special significance to a plain and simple item. But the truth is, God did it long before I did. It's called communion, and it's brilliant. Jesus took a very mundane, run-of-the-mill item like a loaf of bread, which can be found in pretty much every culture. He broke it and said, "This represents My body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of Me." Then He took a cup of wine, again something found easily in most cultures and He said, "This represents My blood which was shed for you. Do this, as often as you drink it, in memory of Me."

No hindrances. No matter how rich or poor, whether from lower class or upper class; everyone could partake. His institution certainly leveled the entry, so that any could participate. But what is oh-so-important is that He took something simple, something plain, and attached to it such great significance - the reminder which inspires thankfulness that comes from appreciating what has been done on our behalf, what we were incapable of doing for ourselves.

And so now I look for other simple, mundane, daily things to attach significance to, so that I can use them to remind my heart of the great love of God for me, of the depths to which He was willing to go to rescue me from my own sin, so that I am reminded, even inspired, to be once again grateful for what He has done for me. Maybe as I garden, I am reminded that He has weeded my heart of the unforgiveness or evil desires that were once there. Maybe it's as I wash the dishes that I am reminded of how He washed away every stain and made me clean before Him. And I recognize that none of it was deserved; it's all a gift of His grace.

And that fills me with a spirit of joy and gratefulness far more than coffee ever could!

Beauty From Ashes

To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.

Isaiah 61:3

As a teacher, I love summer, but not for the reasons you might think.

Summer provides a break from the rigid schedules, the daily life trapped under the tyranny of a bell. It allows time to breathe, time to rest and recharge, time to sit and just read for enjoyment. It allows for time to spend catching up with friends you haven't seen for 10 months because the demands of teaching monopolize your days, your evenings, your weekends. Believe it or not, I do miss my students, but I know that the summer will allow me to mentally, physically and emotionally recalibrate, so that I come back able to invest in them again. It's what I believe God intended for me to do; the ministry He has called me to for this stage of my life. The summer is my sabbath, and God declared it good.

This summer we had the opportunity to get reconnected with a friend with whom we had lost touch for a variety of reasons. The catalyst for the reconnecting came through David's passing. This dear friend had been through some real struggles on multiple fronts, and we discovered that one of her sons, a friend of David's in childhood, had been struggling with similar battles with substance abuse. It may even have been that the brutal reality of David's death due to his playing with drugs was the event that brought that young man face-to-face with the potential consequences of his choices, and motivated him to get serious about getting help. However all that played out, when he heard that we were planning to come up to visit his mom, with sensitive heart he suggested to her that she perhaps not tell us how well he was doing, as it might be painful for us to hear that.

I have another friend, a colleague, whose son was also in the same age bracket and the same patterns of behaviour. I had shared with him that we had helped David enroll in Teen Challenge, an intensive faith-based program for both men and women designed to help them find freedom from addictions. David had to wait for a period of time before he could begin, and he succumbed to his overdose before that period ended. They were successful in enrolling their son, however, and he is doing really well. At one point in the spring, I stopped by to hear about his son and to let him know I was praying. He teared up. As a dad, he totally understood that my heart would have wanted the same for my son, but that's not how God allowed things to play out.

The reality is that both of these situations bring me joy. Granted, it is mixed with pain and a few tears, but only because I so desired the same for my David.

In this post, I talked about Acts 2, where James, in prison, is beheaded while Peter, also in prison, is miraculously released. Why Peter, and not James? Why these other men's sons, and not my David? Isn't the same God presiding over each of these situations? Is He not equally capable of supernaturally intervening? Was James a worse sinner than Peter? Was my David? Or is God just petty?

No. A thousand times, No.

I may not understand why God acts one way in one circumstance, and a different way in another, but that's because I'm not God. That is very much a "Captain Obvious" statement, but we humans tend to get all miffed when God doesn't do things the way we think He ought to, when it should be so clear that we do not have the full details in front of us. Sometimes we even start declaring He can't exist for those very reasons. I don't truly understand electricity, but I don't start doubting its existence as a result! Man, my beautiful wife is as real as can be, but I don't understand her all the time! (Can I hear an "Amen", husbands? 😏) Doubting God's existence, or goodness, just because we don't understand ... well, that doesn't make sense.

To our friend's son, I would say how glad I am that he is doing well, that he has seen value in himself because God values him. I would encourage him to use his experience, and the lessons he has learned, to help other people, young and old, find their value in the eyes of their Creator. To my colleague's son, I would say the same. I would not wish upon any parent the road I had to walk, though I have learned things about God's faithfulness and love that I likely would not have learned any other way.

And nothing would bring me more "oil of joy" and a "garment of praise", than to see the beauty of a life restored to a relationship with the God who loves them sprout from the ashes of my loss.

Oceans

But I have trusted in Your steadfast love;

my heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.

Psalm 13:5

I haven't blogged for quite a while.  To be honest, it's because I was just hanging on.

I took a short term leave from work. I'm so thankful for the support of my employer, my principal, and my colleagues. And the young woman who covered for me did a splendid job; I couldn't have asked for more. The strain of what we had been through was starting to show and I needed to ensure that, when we got through this (and we would), my marriage was intact and healthy. We have had some wonderful help from a counsellor, who has walked us through a few things and assisted us in sorting healthy thoughts from unhealthy ones. And we needed time together, just my wife and I, just to be, to rest, to talk and to process all that we have experienced. We're not done yet but I am confident that, in time, we will be whole and strong once again. I am so grateful for her, my best friend and the love of my life.  Proverbs 18:22 says, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and receives favour from the Lord." I have found so much more than I could have ever imagined in my wife, and I have indeed received favour!

We've spent quite a bit of time at the trailer, and the last week of Family Camp ended today. I found myself challenged this past week by the lyrics of the song "Oceans", that some of you will be familiar with. To be honest, I had a hard time singing it without tears; in fact, I was completely unsuccessful. Here are the words:

You call me out upon the waters

The great unknown where feet may fail

This was exactly what God did to us; like Peter in the boat in the middle of the storm, He called us out into our storm, where the possibility of sinking and drowning was real.

And there I find You in the mystery

In oceans deep my faith will stand.

And once again, as before, we found God to be faithful in the midst of our storm. When Peter found himself sinking in the midst of wild waves and angry gales, and cried out for help, Jesus took hold of him; firm, strong, calm, untouched by all that was raging about them. Just like Peter, I found that MY resources were pitiful in the face of such a storm. But God was there with me; He provided what I needed. And with Him beside me, even a storm such as we had endured paled in comparison to His awesome and yet gentle strength.

Your grace abounds in deepest waters

Your sovereign hand will be my guide

Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me

You've never failed, and You won't start now.

I don't have any answers as to why we had to go through what we did. Losing a child has been the hardest thing I've ever had to face. Maybe you're reading this while facing a loss, a tragedy of your own. Maybe you're seeking some answers, some rationale for why you're going through this. I'm afraid I can't help you with that.

But I can tell you that tragedies and losses of this magnitude tend to make us do one of two things; we either lean away from God, or we lean in to God. If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, lean in to Him! This is no time to turn from Him because then you have absolutely nothing but your despair! Your feelings and your angry thoughts may drive you to think that He is cruel, or that His love is fickle at best. These are lies, and they come from the enemy who seeks to destroy you. Remember, Peter said that the enemy is like a lion, seeking whom he may devour. He looks to weaken you by drawing you away from the protection that comes from staying close to God and His people; that's what lions do. Ask Him your angry questions; He can handle it! But stay close; you'll find that He will comfort and protect you and provide for you as you do. This has been my experience.

So I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours, and You are mine.

Notice how the lyrics indicate that this is a very intentional decision. Decide to trust Him in the really difficult things, especially when you can't see the reasons behind what's happening. That's really ultimately what faith is. Why would you only trust Him when things are good? Do you really think you're the only one who has suffered what you're suffering? Believers and unbelievers enjoy many of the same benefits from a gracious God, and they also suffer many of the same hurts; the difference is that unbelievers go through it alone!

And if that's you, if you are not a follower of Jesus Christ, let me tell you that He is longing to be there with you, to comfort you in your pain, to provide strength for you, to "give you beauty for ashes" as it says in Isaiah. Call on Him! Do it now! You will find in Him such a faithful friend, one who will never let you go, a "friend who sticks closer than a brother." And please let me know if you've done that. It would be my great joy.

You can contact the author at mikeysingsbass@gmail.com.

The Precious Gift of Friends

A friend loves at all times.

Proverbs 17:17

Today would have been my son's 21st birthday.

My wife Judy and I chose to take the day and go to his favourite place; the trailer. To be sure, there were tears. But we were also reminded of the joy he experienced at this camp, appropriately named Joy Bible Camp. He delighted in catching snapping turtles, and snakes (oh so many, big, disgusting snakes ...), and salamanders, and bullfrogs. He loved going tubing, especially Schloobing, and jumping off the cliffs into the lake. When he was little, there was just SO much to experience in such a short time that he just couldn't sleep! I would put him in the van and drive for several miles with the heat turned up (in July) until he finally passed out ... I remember, with a smile, the time he found a baby hummingbird that had fallen to the ground. He took such gentle care of it, nursing it and feeding it sugar water until it started to fly again, at which point we moved it to a small tree. He really had a love for animals, and the outdoors.

But of course, those memories bring back the sorrow and loss too. That's why I am so grateful for the wonderful friends we have, those who were already anticipating that this would be a difficult day, and let us know they were thinking of us. The first was my lovely cousin Lisa and her family, just popping a card in the mail to say they were thinking of us and praying for us. She is always so thoughtful. The same day, a card from Evelyn, telling us the same things. 

Last night, a phone call from Christy. Today, on Facebook and through texts and emails, many friends just sending hugs and kind thoughts and heartfelt prayers that God would be a comfort to us today as we remembered David, and felt his absence. Oh dear friends, how can we thank you for all you've been to us? We thank God for each one of you! Your kindness has been such a balm to our hearts in the midst of deep grief and pain. We are grateful for your thoughtfulness, and the precious gift of your friendship.

The world today seems to honour the person who is a rock, especially among men; independent, he needs no one. But the Bible, God's Word to us, tells us, in Ecclesiastes chapter 4 verses 9-12 "Two are better than one ... If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up ... Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves ..."

In the past few months since David's death, there have been many times I have felt overwhelmed, days where I "fell" to depths of bleakness ... and friends like Chris and Jared and Steve were there to help me up again. And my most valued friend, the Friend of Sinners, has walked every step with me. He has comforted me with His Spirit and blessed me through the many friends He has brought into my life.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, dear friends!

What's Good About Good Friday?

Matthew 27:46 About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice,

"Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?”, which means  “My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?”

[To those of you who take the time to read these posts, my apologies for being away for a while. I find myself wrestling with a lack of "spark" these last several weeks. I suspect it's a part of the grieving process, and I trust that, in time, it will return.]

It's odd, isn't it, that on the day we call "Good" Friday, we commemorate the most unjust and torturous death of an innocent man. What's "good" about that?

The answer lies in the fact that Jesus had no sins of His own that He needed to make right before God the Father. As a result, He was the only One qualified to be our substitute. You can't take something dirty and make it spotless with an already-dirty cloth; you need a spotless cloth to do that!

God had already been teaching us this concept in the Jewish celebration of Passover. A Jewish family would set aside a spotless, blemish-free lamb, observe it carefully for several days to ensure that they hadn't missed something, and then on the evening of Passover, they would sacrifice it. The blood of that spotless lamb would be sprinkled on the door posts and lintel of their homes to remind them that, when they were slaves in Egypt, God had freed them from slavery, and brought judgment on the Egyptians for harming His special people and defying God. The people of Israel had been protected from the judgment of God under the blood of a spotless lamb.

Jesus was called "the Lamb of God" by John the Baptist (John 1:29); His name signified His purpose. The Bible tells us we are slaves to sin; Jesus came to free us from that slavery. God, being holy and righteous, MUST judge sin and, therefore, us as sinners. But we can find protection under the blood -- the blood of Jesus Christ, the spotless Lamb of God who was sacrificed in our place. It was no accident that Jesus was crucified at Passover; He was God's Passover Lamb who was to take away the sins of the world. And that judgment that fell on Egypt? God killed all the firstborn in Egypt, man and animal, except those under the blood. But this time, on the cross of Calvary, it was God's "firstborn" that was killed to provide the blood under which all others could find protection.

Without it, we are hopeless and doomed to an eternity of God's judgment. But because Jesus was willing to die in our place, we will NEVER face that judgment if we believe and accept His gift of life and trust Him.

Yesterday I stood at my son's grave and wept. I miss him. And yet I was comforted by the fact that he did just that; he asked Jesus for that offered forgiveness, and he trusted Jesus that His promise of eternal life was real and true. I will see him again.

That's what makes this Good Friday. I pray that today you'll accept Jesus' offer too.

Firstborn

I'm a firstborn son. In some European families, that can be a big deal. In fact, I'm the firstborn son of the firstborn son.

So I guess a firstborn son of a firstborn son having a firstborn son is kind of special too. Although, to be honest, it really didn't matter to me if I had a son or a daughter. We didn't know, before the birth, whether it was a boy or a girl that was on the way, and we were okay with that. We were delighted to become parents! I remember vividly the day of David's birth. I was teaching, as was Judy, and had had several interruptions to my class already. So on the fourth intercom call in, I was perhaps a little abrupt. The secretary apologized and said, "There's a Joan on the line, and she's says you'll want to take this call. Do you want me to take a message?" to which I replied "No!" and bolted out of the room to find an actual phone line. When I got there, Joan, our adoption worker, said, "The birth mother has gone into labour. She knew you couldn't be there in person, but she wanted you to know. I'll call you when the baby is delivered." I called Judy to let her know; we laughed and cried at the same time. And now I had to go back to my classroom and try to teach!  Late that evening, Joan called us to say, "Congratulations! You have a son!" Pretty overwhelming. After years of waiting, it was hard to believe the adventure was truly about to begin.

In ancient times, the firstborn son was the heir to his father's estate, regardless of how big or small that estate might be. The Old Testament indicates that the firstborn son received a double portion of the inheritance, in contrast to his brothers who would receive a single portion. A few minutes could make all the difference, as was the case with Jacob and Esau (Genesis 25:24-26). Esau came out first, just before his twin Jacob, so he received the double portion (the "birthright", as it was called) and he valued it so little that he gave it up for some stew, even though his father was very wealthy and favoured him. Despite not being the firstborn, Jacob became the father of the 12 tribes of Israel.

Jacob and his sons and their families moved to the land of Goshen in Egypt during the famine, when Joseph was second-in-command to Pharaoh, arguably the ruler of the civilized world at that time. The people of Israel became numerous and were eventually seen as a potential threat to Egypt, so a new Pharaoh enslaved them. Later, as the book of Exodus tells us, Moses is commissioned by God to lead His people out of slavery to Egypt and into the Promised Land. Pharaoh refuses to listen and the ten plagues, each one representing a "dethroning" of ten key gods of Egypt, are brought on the land and the people of Egypt. The last of the plagues results in the death of the firstborn, both of the herds and of the people, from the lowliest slave right to the palace of Pharaoh.

Having suffered the death of my firstborn, and still journeying through the grieving process, I cannot imagine what that must have been. It was painful enough for me and my family to go through it; we had so many that rallied around us and supported us through that difficult time. But what if everyone you knew was ravaged by the same tragedy? Every neighbour, every colleague, every extended family member was devastated by the identical event. I've read that passage, that account, many times, and never really stopped to consider the extent, the impact, of that final plague.

The only ones exempt were those who obeyed the warning of God and followed His instructions regarding the protection found under the blood. If they took the blood of a perfect, unblemished lamb and sprinkled it on the doorposts and lintel of their home, the Angel of the Lord would pass over them and no death would befall them. In Exodus 12:13 we read God saying, "... when I see the blood, I will pass over you." Why would God do such a thing as kill all the firstborn? Let's not forget that there were nine plagues before this one, nine warnings that God was who He said He was and that He had the power to do what He said He would do. And yet Pharaoh continued to defy God and harden his heart. I have no doubt that some Egyptians were warned by their Israelite slaves of what to do and may have followed the instructions and thus been spared. But it was also intended as a foreshadowing of what was to come.

There was another firstborn who would die, because He would be the ultimate Passover Lamb.

Jesus was, humanly speaking, the firstborn of Mary, but not of Joseph. This was essential for a number of reasons. As the Messiah and future King, He had to be the heir, and heir of a royal line. Joseph, His adopted father as it were, was a descendant of King David, but in his genealogy in Matthew 1, we find Jeconiah (also Jehoiachin), who was cursed so that no descendant of his would ever sit on the throne of David (Jeremiah 22:30). Thus Jesus could not be Joseph's physical descendant, since He would then be under the same curse. Mary was also a descendant of King David, as we see in her genealogy in Luke 3, and this genealogy bypasses the curse of Jeconiah. Thus, Jesus, the Messiah, is the rightful heir to the throne of David.  He is also God's Son, and as such has all authority. Yet He set it all aside to be mistreated, unjustly accused and sentenced to a cruel and humiliating death on a Roman cross, in order that the defiance toward God of all mankind (like Pharaoh) might be paid for, and that His blood, the blood of THE Passover Lamb for all mankind, might be available for us to apply, to protect us from the judgment of God that would result in all our deaths.  Philippians 2:5-8 reads, "... have the same mindset as Christ Jesus, who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to His own advantage; rather He made Himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.  And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to death -- even death on a cross!"

Jesus is the fulfillment of all the Old Testament pictures. The passover lamb was observed for a time; as was Jesus. The passover lamb had to be without blemish; as was Jesus. The passover lamb had to be slain; as was Jesus.

But the lamb could be unblemished, spotless, slain -- and still you could suffer the judgment of God! Why? Because the blood had to be applied! If you didn't apply the blood, it could not be effective to protect you from judgment. And that is true about the ultimate Passover Lamb; regardless of His purity and perfection, regardless of His obedience in going to die on the cross, regardless of His blood flowing to pay for sin ... if you don't apply it, you are still under the judgment of God. But you don't have to be! Today, right where you are, you can ask God for His forgiveness because Jesus, the Passover Lamb, died in your place and paid the penalty that was rightly yours. God the Father gave His firstborn, willingly, knowingly, to be the Lamb that would be slain, so that when God saw the blood of His beloved Son applied to your sin, He would "pass over" you; the judgment had already fallen on His Son in your place.

You just need to apply the blood of the Firstborn, your Passover Lamb.

Teaching Teenagers: Greatest Job Ever

I have the greatest job ever.  I get to go to work each day and interact with teenagers.

Some people think I should get my head checked.  Oh, they don't come right out and say it, but I hear the message between the lines.  They say things like, "I wouldn't do your job for anything.  It must be so difficult dealing with all the disrespect, the rudeness, the entitlement, etc. etc.  Don't you find it's much worse today than it was when we were kids?"

No. I don't.

I find that the teens I teach today are much like the teens I taught 27 years ago when I first started this job.  They're trying to figure out what they want to be, and who they want to be. They are often stuck in this in-between universe of no longer being children, but not quite being adults.  They want to be treated like they have value.  They want to know you care, way before they care what you know.

Sometimes my job is unenviable: I have to teach them mathematics, which they sometimes struggle with, which they often do not see a purpose for, and which does not necessarily sit high on their somewhat hormone-driven priority list.  And sometimes there is a history there, which means my first job is to convince them that, this time, if they will trust me and do as I suggest, it can be different from their previous experiences. That's the challenge for me, and I am reasonably successful.

The kids I teach ARE different in some ways.  I think it is WAY harder for them to be teenagers today than it was when I was a teen, and I thought it was tough THEN!  Far more families are broken today than 30 years ago.  There are far more distractions today than there were 30 years ago, cell phones being only one of them (and believe me, their PARENTS are often just as addicted, considering the number of times it's a parent that is texting with my student while they're in class!)  And it is far more complicated navigating the whole "dating, sex and gender" thing today than it was 30 years ago. Teens need our help and support, not our judgement!  And judging by the teens I teach, a great deal of you in the parent role are doing a great job, even if it feels like you don't have a clue what you're doing!

Case in point:  last couple of days have been emotionally difficult, for no real reason.  The sorrow and the tears have been simmering just below the surface, and yesterday was exceptionally challenging.  In my first period class, I got choked up pretty bad.  I decided to just be honest with the kids.  "I'm having a pretty rough day.  I don't want it to be awkward for you.  I just want you to know that I'm trying to push through but it's hard."  They all knew the events of this past January.  I ended up having to let each of my three classes know this, because I was just holding it together.  They were great.  There were some in each class who offered a kind word, a wish for a better afternoon, or a better evening. They demonstrated compassion.

If that doesn't sound like the stereotype you associate with teens, then maybe your stereotype needs an adjustment.  The teens I know are awesome.